Introduction – Jab Pita Ka Pyaar Bandhan Ban Jaata Hai
Pita ka pyaar ek bachche ke liye suraksha, vishwas aur pehchan ka source hona chahiye. Lekin jab pita hi narcissistic ho, to yeh pyaar ek emotional trap ban jaata hai — jisme shuruaat mein sab kuch perfect lagta hai, lekin dheere-dheere ek invisible pain ban jaata hai.
Is article mein main ek narcissistic father-child relationship ka toxic cycle explain karungi — love bombing, devaluation, aur discard ke phases ke through. Yeh ek kahani nahi, balki un emotions ka reflection hai jo kai log silently jhel rahe hote hain.
Glossary: Narcissism
Phase 1: Love Bombing – Jab Pita Har Khushi Ka Source Lagta Hai
Riya apne bachpan mein hamesha proud feel karti thi apne pita ke saath. Har parent-teacher meeting mein unka aana, chocolates laana, sabke saamne kehna: “Meri beti sabse special hai.”
Unhone Riya ke liye piano classes start ki, uska birthday har baar grand banate the. Riya ko lagta tha uska pita hi uski duniya hai.
Lekin asli mein yeh sab unconditional love nahi tha — balki ek control set karne ki shuruaat thi.
Love Bombing ke typical signs:
- Extreme praise, gifts, ya attention
- “Tum meri zindagi ho” jaise emotionally binding statements
- Har achievement pe over-celebration, lekin future mein expectation badh jaati hai
- Child ko ideal bana dena – “Tum mujh jaise banoge”
Yeh phase addictive lagta hai, lekin yehi emotional dependency ki foundation banata hai.
Phase 2: Devaluation – Jab Wahi Pita Aapko Har Waqt Kamzor Mehsoos Karne Lage
Jaise-jaise Riya thodi independent hone lagi, apni pasand se kapde pehnne lagi, ya apne opinions rakhne lagi, uske pita ka behavior badalne laga.
“Yeh tum kaun ban rahi ho?”
“Pehle wali Riya kahaan gayi?”
“Tum mujhse door ja rahi ho.”
Compliments ki jagah criticism aane laga. Har choti galti par taana, ya silent treatment diya jaane laga. Jab Riya school mein second aayi, toh keh diya gaya: “Mere standard ka baccha kabhi second nahi aata.”
Devaluation phase mein hota hai:
- Repeated criticism aur sarcasm
- Comparison with “better” kids
- Guilt aur emotional blackmail
- Apne standards thopna
- Child ki identity ko challenge karna
Riya ko lagne laga ki uski khushi sirf tab tak thi jab tak usne apne pita ki expectations follow ki. Ab uska har choice galat tha, har feeling “overreaction” thi.
Phase 3: Discard – Jab Pita Ka Pyaar Ekdum Silent Ho Jaata Hai
Ek din Riya ne apne pita se keh diya: “Mujhe kuch decisions khud lene hain.” Us raat usse dinner table pe ignore kiya gaya. Agle din uska birthday aaya, lekin koi wish nahi mili.
Unhone usse keh diya:
“Main ab thak gaya hoon tumse. Tumhe meri parwah hi nahi hai.”
Pehli baar Riya ko laga jaise uska emotion koi matter nahi karta. Uska existence ek performance ban gaya tha — aur jab usne perform karna band kiya, to connection bhi tod diya gaya.
Discard phase ke symptoms:
- Emotional shutdown
- Sudden withdrawal of attention
- Cold behavior without explanation
- Child ko blame karna rishte ke failure ke liye
- Kabhi-kabhi punishment ke roop mein ignoring
Unseen Scars – Jab Wounds Nazar Nahi Aate, Par Mehsoos Hote Hain
Riya school, college, aur job sab mein achhi thi. Lekin uske andar ek permanent guilt aur confusion tha:
- “Kya main kabhi enough ho paayi?”
- “Pyaar hamesha condition ke saath hi aata hai kya?”
- “Mujhe khud se kyun darr lagta hai?”
Uske relationships mein bhi yeh patterns repeat hue – people pleasing, approval chasing, aur emotional shutdown.
Narcissistic father ke saath rishte ka pain visible nahi hota, isliye log usse underestimate karte hain. Lekin yeh ek deep psychological impact chhodta hai jiska healing process bhi layered hota hai.
Healing – Jab Aap Apni Story Dobara Likhnā Seekhte Ho
Riya ki healing tab shuru hui jab usne therapy lena start kiya aur likhna shuru kiya. Apne emotions ko naam dena, apne inner child se dobara connect karna, aur yeh samajhna ki:
“Woh jo mila, woh pyaar nahi tha — woh control tha.”
Healing ke kuch tools:
- Journaling: Emotional clarity aur patterns samajhne ke liye
- Therapy: Trauma-informed therapist ka support lena
- Inner child healing: Bachpan ki unmet needs ko address karna
- Boundaries banana: Emotional self-respect ke liye
- Self-compassion: Guilt ke bina khud se pyar karna
Conclusion – Jab Control Ko Pyaar Samjha Jaata Hai
Narcissistic pita ka pyaar sirf tab tak dikhta hai jab tak aap unki expectations pe khare utarte hain. Jis din aap apni identity dikhate hain, woh pyaar sirf ek memory ban jaata hai.
Riya jaise kai log is invisible emotional abuse se guzarte hain — bina samjhe ki problem unmein nahi, system mein hai. Pita hone ka matlab yeh nahi ki kisi ke emotions ko manipulate karne ka haq mil jaata hai.
Aap deserve karte hain ek aisi zindagi jahan pyaar control nahi, support ho.
Disclaimer:
Ye article mera personal experience aur research pe based hai. Main koi medical ya mental health professional nahi hoon, isliye ye content kisi bhi professional advice ka substitute nahi hai. Agar aapko kisi bhi tarah ka emotional ya psychological problem ho raha hai, to kripya karke kisi qualified expert ya therapist se sampark karein. Is blog ka maksad sirf jaankari dena hai aur aapko aware karna hai, na ki diagnosis ya treatment provide karna.
